Responsible Behavior

The longgest Unix Sex joke

Unix Sex: { look; screen; whois; talk; date; grep; touch; finger; find; flex; unzip; nice; strip; mount; workbone; pushd; fsck; yes; gasp; make; popd; eject; umount; makeclean; zip; split; done; exit }
Try to add more :)  Need your suggestion

A day in the life of a grad-student…

A day in the life of a grad-student... 

  6:30       Wakeup and lie awake in Bed
  6:31       Realize you spent $18 on last night's dinner,
             means no eating out for the next 6  weeks
  6:32       Hit snooze button.  Go back to sleep.
  7:00       Wake up suddenly with heart in mouth when you
             realize you didn't hit the snooze   button--you turned it off.
  7:01       fall asleep again.
  7:44       Wake up with heart in mouth again.
  7:45       Ready to go to school, will shave tommorrow,
             will eat early brunch at
             (Denny's/Penny's/Lenny's/Dinko's whatever
             cafeteria).
  8:03       Arrive at school
             Realize your foreign officemate arrived earlier
             today must have got more work   done
  8:04       Pass by Advisor's office, chat with Secretary to
             find out if he is coming in today. He   is, darn.
             Need to start work on the draft due this afternoon.
  8:15       Read electronic mail
  8:20       Delete mail from students taking CMPSC201
             regarding questions about the class.
             Hate your TA job.
             Depression: too much work to do today
  9:00       For jumpstart: go to Pepsi machine.
  9:05       Kick Pepsi machine; promise yourself to call up
             the company  and ask for your   money back.
             Wonder why they would beleive you.
  9:33       Start printing out loads of stuff that may be
             vaguely related to your work.
  9:41       Early morning stupefaction.
             Mutter racist comments to yourself about your
             officemate.
  9:43       Curse your officemate in a low tone he would not
             comprehend.
             Feel good about him not grasping English well.
  9:58       Finger everyone in the department and most
             people half way around the world    (using the "finger"
             command, of course)
  10:19      Feel sleepy, should not have stayed late playing
             tetris last night.
  10:31      momentary panic attack!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10:43      edit .plan file. write a shell program to edit .plan
             more easily
  10:59      Drop in at advisor's office and borrow something
             you dont need & and kinda make  him aware you are working
             hard on your project.
  11:05      perverted daydreams
  11:11      read electronic news
             mid-morning yawn time
  11:34      Start typing junk at a very high key-in rate to
             pretend you are working hard as your    advisor passes by
             from outside.
  11:35      Press the BackSpace key for one and a half
             minute until all the garbage you typed  in is erased.
             Realize that you can type more than 256
             characters per half minute
  11:41      Flirt with the new girl in the department
  11:45      Print out some slides for afternoon's draft +
             presentation
  11:47      Print them again, you forgot to change the date
             from last presentation
  11:49      Print another copy in case this one gets lost
  11:51      Completely forget about sueing the coffee-
             machine company
  12:15      Hunger pangs:
  12:20      BigMac/Fries time
             Drink a not-so-cold generic can of cola from your
             desk. Ch-Ching, you just saved 35 cents by buying bulk
             cola.
  1:00       Group Meeting with advisor
  1:14       sudden awareness of one's shallowness
             resentment towards foriegn officemate for
             sucking up to your advisor
             Get reminded by your advisor that you need to do
             some more work for your literature survey.
  1:51       Advisor hands you the reddened copy of your
             draft for corrections
  1:51:02    The 49 second urge to murder advisor begins!!
  1:51:52    Realize that he controls your
             assistantship/grade/graduation
             possiblity/graduation date/all job
             opportunities/and the rest of your life.
  1:52:53    Thank him
  1:52:54    Thank yourself for not saying something
             stupid to your advisor.
  1:53:00    splitting headache #1
  1:59       Check electronic mail, don't reply though, you are
             too busy to do that
  2:06       More generic cola
  2:17       Oh No, it is my turn to cook tonite :-(
  2:30       Sit through the class you were told to sit through
  2:39       Look outside the window make unrealistic plans
             to quit this degree program and take up a job.
             Wonder why blonde girls are so pretty.
  2:48       More perverted day-dreams.
             Close the office door and open a few .gif files.
             sharpen pencil
  3:06       worry about never graduating
             time to write a letter--NOT!  no time for that.
             rearrange desk
             call up bank; see if you have any money
             fear of losing aid next Fall
             Read latex manuals to figure out how to put
             &$%&% in %$^% format
  3:43       watch the clock
             make plans to do a all-nighter tonite
             Vow to watch only 2 TV programs
  4:58       Notice Advisor leave
  4:58:01    Sudden sense of freedom
             Go home for quick, short dinner break.
  9:00pm     Come into the office
  9:01pm     The hard working grad student you are, you have
             to come to the office late at night to "get the work done"
  9:03       Check electronic mail
             Decide it would be a good time to attack those ftp
             sites since network wont be loaded
             Run into "since network wont be loaded" traffic
             and get the pictures into your  machine.
             Compress all unwanted research/class directories
             to make space.
             Back up all your pictures
  10:11      Admire pictures
             Begin work; Realize you need references
             Realize its too late today to go to the library
             Sudden feeling of having wasted the day
  10:49      Sudden feeling of possibly having to waste the
             night Decide to turn in early and come back very early
             tommorrow morning
             Decide to play a Tetris on the system to put
             yourself in a good mood.
  11:15      Play game after game after game to improve your
             score and get on the scoreboard.
             Realize that your officemate is still at number 6,
             two notches above you on the    scoreboard.
  12:20      Play until you beat your officemate into the 7th
             place. A sense of achievment!! Yes, today was not
             wasted!! Return home to find your roommate watching
             David Letterman reruns on NBC. Tell him about the "hard
             working grad student day you had"
             Discuss philosophy with roommate
  1:09       Think about becoming a philosopher and dining
             with 4 others
             (The Dining Philosophers problem, hee hee :-)
             (Comp Sci joke)
             Argue with him about politics, why people prefer
             Japanese cars and whether it is better to set the heat to "hot"
             or "cold" to defrost the windshields faster.
  1:49       Realize neither of you have bought milk today
             Get reminded of the "too much milk problem"
  2:04       Forget about getting up early. Turn the phone
             ringer off and go to sleep.